Romeo and Juliet: Cahill style
by 39cluesFan
Summary: As you read this is a parody of Romeo and Juliet by... NATALIE AND DAN! My first Natan so please review... Mostly Natan but maybe some Hamead or even Amian later...
1. Oh Daniel, Daniel

**Hey guys... This is the first time I write a Natan so please be kind and review...**

**Now... The characters of this scene are: **

**_Fiske Cahill as narrator!_**

**_Natalie Kabra as Juliet!_**

**_Dan Cahill as Romeo!_**

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_Scene 1. OH DANIEL, DANIEL..._

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Fiske: To be or not to be? This is the question...  
Dan: If it is to be with Nat, then I prefer death!  
Natalie: Me too!  
Fiske: Shut up both of you! Where was I? Oh yes... This is a story of two teenagers! The story of pure love!  
Dan: STUPID!  
Natalie: PEASANT!  
Dan: FASHION FREAK!  
Fiske: I SAID PURE LOVE!  
Natalie: No one asked your opinion! And who are you to have the right to talk?  
Fiske: The narrator! Let me finish and then you can argue. The families of the two children are in a fight but no one can stop their love! They love each other so much!  
Natalie: HOW DARE YOU IDIOT? *slap*  
Fiske: *cough* They are made for each other! They are exactly the same and have common interests!  
Dan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE COCA-COLA?  
Natalie: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HATE TWI-LIGHT?  
Fiske: They will be together until death do them apart!  
Dan, Natalie: I WILL KILL YOU!  
Fiske: Shut up and do your scene!  
Dan: Do we have to?  
Fiske: YES!  
Natalie: Oh Daniel, Daniel! Why do you have to be Daniel?  
Dan: Actually it's Dan. DAN!  
Fiske: Dan you destroy the scene!  
Dan: FISKE THE SCENE WAS DESTROYED ANYWAY! ME AND NAT TOGETHER? I WANT TO TALK TO THE DIRECTOR!  
Natalie: He is dead you fool!  
Fiske: DO THE SCENE OR I WILL MAKE YOU KISS!  
Natalie: Oh Daniel, Daniel... Wherefore art thou Daniel?  
Dan: In English please... I don't understand Chinese...  
Natalie: UNEDUCATED!  
Fiske: These are ancient English Dan! Natalie move on...  
Natalie: Oh Daniel, Daniel! Wherefore art thou Daniel? Deny your father and refuse your name! Swear me my love! What is a name, a word? The girl who we call Natalie, by any other name would be as beautiful and cute!  
Dan: Hey! You were supposed to say about a rose!  
Natalie: Yes, indeed. I edited this part to make this opus more interesting...  
Dan: The only thing you made it, was more dramatic!  
Fiske: Shut up and continue!  
Natalie: Fine...Oh Daniel, Daniel. Deny your father!  
Dan: My father is dead! And it's DAN!  
Fiske: Don't interrupt her!  
Natalie: What is a meaning of a name? A word? The girl who we call Natalie...  
Dan: By another name would be as idiot, mean, sarcastic, evil, stupid etc...  
Natalie: Actually I would say she would be as beautiful and cute!  
Fiske: Dan it's your turn...  
Dan: Oh speak again stupid!  
Fiske: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY BRIGHT ANGEL DAN!  
Dan: OVER MY DEAD BODY!  
Fiske: Dan! Do it or I will...  
Dan: Oh speak again dark demon!  
Natalie: Did he call me a demon?  
Fiske: Dan!  
Dan: Oh speak again evil snake!  
Natalie: Fiske do something!  
Fiske: Dan stop it!  
Dan: Ok, ok... Speak again girl... Better now?  
Fiske: Yes...  
Dan: Sorry guys... I don't remember what I am supposed to say here...  
Fiske: Then improvise!  
Dan: *evil laugh* WHY SHOULD I DENY MY NAME FOR AN EVIL COBRA? I HATE YOU NATALIE! I DON'T LOVE YOU! AND I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS JERK MADE ME LOVE YOU! HE WAS DEFINITELY INSANE!  
Natalie: DANIEL BEHAVE YOURSELF!  
Dan: IT'S DAN!  
Fiske: Dan come on!  
Dan: Ok, ok... Oh, Cobra, Cobra...  
Natalie: KABRA!  
Dan: What's the difference Nat? You said you would be the same beautiful even if you had a different name... So, from now and on I will call you... Let me see... I will call you Rudolph! Hahaha...  
Natalie: DANIEL!  
Dan: What? You said the name of something doesn't matter!  
Fiske: Shut up!  
Dan: Hahahahahaha!  
Natalie: I WILL KILL HIM!  
Dan: Hahahahahahaha! Rudolph!  
Fiske: To be or not to be?  
Natalie: *slap*  
Dan: HEY! RUDOLPH DON'T DARE HIT ME AGAIN!  
Natalie: *slap*  
Dan: Take it easy Rudolph!  
Natalie: *slap*  
Fiske: Stop it! Both of you!  
Dan: Rudolph stop!  
Natalie: *slap* NOT UNTIL YOU CALL ME NATALIE!  
Dan: OK! OK! NATALIE STOP! You won!  
Natalie: Ok... *stops with an evil smile*  
Fiske: Continue!  
Dan: Fine! Rud...  
Natalie: *evil look*  
Dan: Natalie, I love you...  
Natalie, Fiske: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?  
Dan: It's part of the play guys!  
Natalie: Oh, ok then... See you tomorrow my beloved peasant!  
Dan: See you tomorrow my beloved witch!  
Fiske: You could do it better you know!  
Dan: I'll try... Chiao bat!  
Natalie: See you jerk!  
Fiske: More romantically!  
Dan: BYE!  
Natalie: BYE! *leaving from the window*  
Fiske: To be or not to...  
Dan: Oh, shut up!

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**I hope you liked it! I did my best! Bye... REVIEW...**


	2. Frightening rules

**Hey guys! I'm so glad you liked this story and thanks to all the lovely people that reviewed! This is the continue and I hope you'll love it! I did my best! Enjoy!**

**The new characters:**

**_Hamilton Holt as Mercutio! (Romeo's best friend)_**

**_Sinead Starling as narrator 2!_**

**I'm keeping the rest of the characters for a surprise! Good reading!**

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Fiske: The next morning Dan is so sad!

Dan: Yes, yes, yes! Yes! Yes! Did I mention yes? *silly bunny jumping*

Fiske: He is so upset because he is not with the girl he loves so much!

Dan: THIS IS THE BEST SCENE EVER! *continues with jumping*

Fiske: His heart is hurting very much! The pain he feels is tragic! He hates his life so much!

Dan: I ADORE MY AWESOME LIFE! *continues with jumping*

Fiske: The only thing he wants is to kiss Natalie!

Dan: Where is the director? I want to kiss him! *continues with jumping*

Fiske: But he still has hope!

Dan: Do I?

Fiske: The next day he will marry Natalie and this makes him want to jump with happiness!

Dan: *stops jumping* WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT? I AM NOT MARRYING HER! NO WAY!

Fiske: He is willing to do anything in order to marry her!

Dan: I WILL DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO PREVENT THIS WEDDING!

Fiske: Don't you think this scene is a little bit strange?

Dan: Why? I am playing amazingly!

Fiske: *cough* Anyway... Dan is now meeting a good friend of him. He will now meet Hamilton who is in love with someone he is not aloud because this break the rules!

Hamilton: Hey, I've heard this!

Dan: Who is her Hamilton?

Hamilton: You don't have the right to speak! You are marrying Natalie!

Dan: Don't remind me this!

Fiske: I have to go now... Another narrator will narrate the story now...

Hamilton: REALLY?

Fiske: *smiles* Yes...

Sinead: Hello guys...

Dan: Hey!

Hamilton: Hiiiiii... Hello Sinead... H-H-How are y-you?

Sinead: I am fine... You? *cute blushing*

Hamilton: I am fine too... So what are you doing here?

Sinead: Well... I am a narrator.

Hamilton: Really? Interesting!

Sinead: Indeed...

Dan: GUYS MAY I REMIND YOU I AM THE PROTAGONIST HERE?

Sinead: Yeah, sorry... You are right... *blushing* ...Ehm... Oh yeah, the two boys are walking while they are talking.

Dan, Hamilton: *start walking*

Sinead: No guys, the other way...

Dan, Hamilton: *turn around*

Sinead: To be or not to be? This is...

Dan: Oh no! You too?

Sinead: Come on! These are my lines! To be or not to be? This is the question...

Dan: Whatever... So, Hamilton do you like Sinead?

Sinead: Hey, that's not part of your lines!

Dan: Yes, I usually put some extras in order to make it more realistic... So, do you like her Hamilton?

Hamilton: *whispering* Well... Maybe but let's get back to the topic... Your mother is not so happy about the wedding.

Dan: What do you mean? My mother is dead!

Hamilton: Well she's not in this story...

Sinead: Dan... I don't know how to tell you but... in this story your mother is Amy and your father is Ian!

Dan: WHAT? NO WAY! *fainting*

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**Ten minutes later... Dan's house... **

Amy: Rule one - You are not aloud to practice your pathetic ninja skills in home. Rule two - You are not aloud to read diaries that say do not read. Rule three - You are not aloud to mention the word Korea. Rule four - You are not aloud to do pranks. Rule five - You are not aloud to play stupid video games that make annoying noises. Rule six - You must read more than three books per day. Rule seven - You must visit the library three times per week. That's all. If you break any of these rules, you will never see television again.

Dan: *crying with sadness*

Sinead, Hamilton: *laughing*

Ian: I have to add some more rules my beloved son! Rule one - You are not aloud to wear non-prada clothes. Rule two - You are not aloud to call me Cobra. Rule three - You are not aloud to eat at MacDonald's. Rule four - You are not aloud to mention the word Buffy or however you call this stupid dog! Rule five - You are not aloud to be a jerk. Rule six - You are not aloud to use the words idiot, stupid, geez, nerd, jerk, freaking, awesome, ninja, hell, heck, etc.

Dan: *CRYING* You are so mean!

Amy: My revenge for all these years! And every day you will sleep at eight o'clock.

Ian: And you will have to take a bath every day!

Amy: And you will have to...

Dan: ENOUGH! I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU ANYMORE STUPID MURDERERS! YOU ARE SOOOO MEAN AND CRUEL! PATHETIC EVIL SNAKES! STUPID! SILLY! IDIOTS! JERKS! WICKED WIZARDS AND WITCHES!

Amy, Ian: No ice-cream for the rest of the week!

Dan: *running at his room*

Amy, Ian, Sinead, Hamilton: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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**I hope you liked it! Bye!**


	3. The tale of the surnames

Hey guys! I hope you like it! It's not big so I will update soon. This chapter is a little bit complicated but it's funny. Read carefully so that you can understand! :)

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Disclaimer: I do not own any word of the 39 clues!

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Dan: To be or not to be? This is the question.

Sinead: Hey! That's my gag!

Hamilton: Dan I thought you hated this phrase, didn't you?

Dan: Well... I did but now that I found out I'm the son of a brainless spinach and a filthy mullet, I got it's meaning and I don't hate it anymore.

Hamilton: He's got a point...

Sinead: Anyway... Let's get back to the topic... After he gets out of his room, Daniel Kabra...

Dan: Excuse me? Daniel what?

Sinead: Daniel Kabra... Well, Dan, I forgot to tell you something. You see, the children take the surname of their father soooo...

Dan: Oh no! Tell me it's not what I think...

Sinead: It IS what you think... In this story you have the surname of your father, which, you like it or not, is Kabra...

Dan: YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME! NO WAY!

Sinead: Sorry Dan...

Hamilton: Poor boy...

Ian: So... I think we should call him Daniel Cobra!

Dan: DARE YOU RIDICULOUS DINOSAUR AND I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THIS ABOMINABLE AND FRIGHTENING GREEN TOWEL YOU'RE WEARING AND MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DISGUSTING GREEN MOLLUSK!

Ian: IT'S NOT A TOWEL YOU JERK! IT'S THE MOST EXPENSIVE CLOTHE OF LONDON!

Dan: Whatever! You know what I mean freaking snail!

Sinead: Sorry I'm interrupting this conversation but we must meet Natalie and Nellie in some minutes so we must go...

Dan: To see Natalie? I prefer Ian!

Ian: Very kind of you Daniel!

Dan: *looks Ian* No I was wrong... Even Nat is better that this slimy slug. Let's go!

Dan, Sinead, Hamilton: *leaving*

Dan: Oh god! I am so unlucky! I have the worst family of the world! My mother is a bookworm freak, my father is a seedy worm, my fiancee is a fashion freak and... Oh, oh, oh... Wait a minute! IS MY GRANDMOTHER ISABEL?

Sinead: Well... Yeah... I suppose...

Dan: Oh god! I can't believe it!

Natalie: Neither can I Cobra!

Dan: Hey! Where did you come from?

Natalie: From the back garden Cobra!

Dan: Hey! You don't have the right to call me like that! May I remind you that you're a Cobra too?

Natalie: Not anymore Daniel! In this story I'm Jonah's daughter so my name is Natalie Wizard, not Kabra!

Dan: Wait... So I'm Dan Kabra and you're Natalie Wizard? No way! This can't be happening!

Natalie: Actually it can Cobra!

Sinead: Sorry Natalie but I have to inform you that when you marry Dan you'll take his surname so you'll be a Cobra again!

Dan: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Natalie: Oh damn you Daniel!

Nellie: By the way when is the wedding?

Dan, Natalie: NEVER!

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Please Review... Sorry it's small. I'll update soon! :)


	4. Bon appetite!

**So hello guys... I am extremely sorry I didn't update earlier but you know, that's a really difficult story and it needs so much thought... Anyway, I wrote some more than the last time... I hope you like it! I really did my best!**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 clues...**

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Sinead: The next morning, Daniel wakes up at five o'clock in the morning. He is so excited about the wedding that he can't even sleep! How cute!

Ian: Wake up Daniel, dear! Today is a wonderful day! You'll marry Natalie so there are some... improvements I want to do to your external appearance and that includes bath, perfume, hair cutting and brushing, dressing and even nails painting! Daniel? I said wake up!

Dan: There is one thing I want to say... Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day! But it's not even a day so you'd better hide somewhere I can't find you until twelve o' clock!

Ian: Oh come on Daniel! Don't be mean... Get out of bed!

Dan: Bad luck Ian! I hate people at Monday mornings!

Ian: Really? Why?

Dan: Because I hate people, Mondays and mornings so leave right now or I'll ally with mosquitos and with their help I'll make sure you never see light again!

Sinead: Oh come on now! Wake up Dan! Natalie is waiting outside!

Dan: WHAT?

Sinead: Oops! It was a surprise, wasn't it?

Dan: WHAT? WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT!? YOU FREAKING, FILTHY, HORRIBLE, STUPID, DESPICABLE, MEAN, UNIMPORTANT, POOR, RIDICULOUS GREEN ALIENS THAT SMELL LIKE HUGE GIANT'S LEFT SHOES THAT ARE FULL OF PINK FLAMINGO'S GREEN SNOT AND PUKE OF A HUGE HIPPO THAT HAVE JUST BEEN BITTEN BY A BLOODY SNAKE THAT HAVE JUST BEEN KILLED BY A HORRIBLE CAR WHICH HAD BEEN DROVEN BY A DEAD ZOMBIE THAT WAS DRUNK AND HIS BREATH SMELLED LIKE GREEN SNAILS THAT HAVE BEEN COOKED BY AN EVIL WITCH WHO HAD JUST KILLED TWO LITTLE, INNOCENT FROGS THAT HAVE JUST ATE A BUTTERFLY THAT WAS FLYING ABOVE A SEA WHERE A GIANT OCTOPUS USED TO LIVE AND WHOSE GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT OCTOPUS UNCLE HAD KILLED A PIRATE CALLED CHRIS!

Ian: Did he call me a flamingo?

Dan: GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sinead, Hamilton, Amy: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Dan: What is so funny anyway?

Ian: No comment... Back to the topic... Today you will meet Natalie and go at a coffee bar... Good luck! Here are your clothes. Aren't they beautiful? I think the pink of Prada is amazing, isn't it!

Dan: WHAT! I AM NOT WEARING YOUR STUPID, PINK CLOTHES YOU FILTHY...

Amy: Oh please not again!

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**An hour later:**

Sinead: Dan and Natalie are at this lovely coffee bar I was with Hamilton in my dream, and they are sitting at the table. Oops... Forget the Hamilton thing guys!

Natalie: ...

Dan: ...

Natalie: Oh come on Daniel! Say something!

Dan: Why?

Natalie: Because I am BORED!

Dan: DON'T TALK TO ME BECAUSE YOU'RE BORED! I AM NOT HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU EVIL CREATURE! DO I LOOK LIKE A CLOWN?

Natalie: Do you really want me to answer?

Dan: How dare you! Ridiculous, religion book!

Natalie: Two-times worn non-prada dress!

Dan: Disgusting gorilla puke!

Natalie: Wrongly pronounced word by an American!

Dan: Filthy worm eaten by a Zombie!

Natalie: Puke of MacDonald's and coca-cola!

Sinead: Oh, knock it off guys!

Natalie: Anyway, I'm hungry...

Dan: Nice to meet you hungry! I'm Dan...

Natalie: Dan, I'm serious...

Dan: No! You're not Serious! Your name is hungry!

Natalie: You're joking...

Dan: No! I'm not joking! My name is Dan!

Natalie: SHUT UP RIGHT NOW COBRA! YOUR STUPIDITY IS OUTREACHING ANY HUMAN LIMIT!

Dan: Hahaha! Sorry Rudolph!

Natalie: Immature peasant! Anyway... Let's order some food...

Waitress: Hello lovebirds! What do you want to eat?

Natalie: Honestly, do I look like a bird?

Dan: She mean the couple you ancient woman! Wait, WHAT? I AM NOT A COUPLE WITH HER! HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME STUPID PARROT?

Waitress: I'm sorry guys! Just thought that you were together... Anyway... So, what do you want for today?

Dan: Well, I want bacon!

Waitress: Good choice dude! What about you my lady? Bacon too?

Natalie: No... I only eat bacon on special occasions.

Dan: I don't understand people who only "eat bacon at special occasions"! Eating bacon IS a special occasion! You should celebrate it by eating bacon!

Natalie: You know Daniel, it's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt! Anyway, I want spaghetti with tomato sauce. Thank you dear!

Waitress: Pleasure! Have a nice day!

Natalie: So what do we do now?

Dan: Well... Let's play the twenty questions, shall we?

Natalie: Ok... Who is first?

Dan: The Prada queen...

Natalie: Thanks for the compliment, Daniel... So, let me think. What do you do when you see someone extremely gorgeous?

Dan: Well... What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS?... I stare, I smile and when I get tired, I put the mirror down...

Natalie: Ha-Ha... Very funny Cobra... Your turn.

Dan: Ok... And it is Kabra... So, Rudolph... What do you do when you feel extremely upset? For example, I go to my mother and scream her: COREA, COREA, COREA. After that, I feel perfect!

Natalie: Well, I usually take a hot shower. You know it's a normal shower but with me in it.

Dan: Oh man! One day I must teach you how to be funny. Your turn Rudolph.

Natalie: It's Natalie Daniel!

Dan: IT'S DAN RUDOLPH!

Natalie: It's NATALIE DANIEL!

Dan: IT'S DAN RUDOLPH!

Sinead: Shut up!

Natalie: So, what's your opinion about love?

Dan: Stupid question... Well, they say love is the most important thing of life. I think oxygen is more important...

Natalie: Smart, Daniel. Really smart.

Dan: Ok, I'm bored... Let's do something funny Rudolph, shall we? *evil smirk*

Natalie: It's Natalie! And yeah!

Dan: It's called THE TEN STEPS TO MAKE PEOPLE HATE YOU AT A RESTAURANT.

Natalie: Let me guess, your idea.

Dan: Of course! All the awesome ideas are mine! Come with me...

Natalie: *wakes up*

Dan: So, Rudolph. I'll be your trainer to the funny department. For our own safety we must use nicknames, not our real names. I'll call you Rudolph. You call me...

Natalie: Barbie!

Dan: What! No way!

Natalie: I didn't ask your opinion Barbie!

Dan: Ok anyway! Back to the topic. The first thing I want you to do my student, is to steal the mobile phone of this man. Muahaha!

Natalie: What? No way! I'm not stealing anything!

Dan: Come on Rudolph! You are a Lucian! It'll be easy for you!

Natalie: Grrrr! Fine! *steals the phone* Now what?

Dan: Give it to the ninja lord... *does something evil* *gives the phone to Natalie*

Natalie: Wait... You sent to all his friends a message saying "I hid the body... Now what?"! That's so... AWESOME! Barbie, You're not as bad as you look!

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**So I hope it was ok! Sorry again... Remember to review...**


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